tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8466314672723988836.post1419561550375640952..comments2023-09-30T00:43:13.890-07:00Comments on The Current Season: Willem De Kooning: A Retrospectivemoderatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07653277482083573538noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8466314672723988836.post-87783324375689887242011-10-13T08:08:14.759-07:002011-10-13T08:08:14.759-07:00Hey,
So first of all, good job. The first two pa...Hey, <br /><br />So first of all, good job. The first two paragraphs seem well-written, a good introductory pragraph followed by a more specific point. I do, however, get tripped up in the third paragraph when you use the word "the" before "early Picasso's treatment of the human figure". The addition of "the" to names and titles is something that is repeatedly done throughout the review and it takes the reader out of the piece. Maybe consider re-wording those sentences.<br /><br />I think this review contains some very strong points about the work that could be made a little more clear, or at least more in-depth. For instance, in the second-to-last paragraph you mention the that the artist's presence is made apparent in the work through the use of brave brush strokes, gestural lines, and certain color choices. These are valid points, but I feel like they could be supported a little more clearly, with even just a line explaining what about them conveys the artist's presence. <br /><br />I agree with DJ about the concluding paragraph. You use critical language with words like "suffered" and "cold" but you don't give any solid indication of your opinion.<br /><br />All in all, I think was a successful review of the show, which was huge-- admittedly a big undertaking for a 250 word review. <br />Good job :)Sara Blazejhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16484821432393492070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8466314672723988836.post-91268164927975851862011-10-12T16:39:29.231-07:002011-10-12T16:39:29.231-07:00Allo Christina....
Reading you blog I must first a...Allo Christina....<br />Reading you blog I must first and foremost state that your opening paragraph is quite strong and concise as it describes where, what, and how the paintings appear. However just one grammatical correction...the last sentence is a tad bit too long...make a connection between his earlier style and his latter style.<br /><br />With the second paragraph I would reword it to make it stronger but as meaningful- "Although each painting acquire their own iconographical content, they all uniformly possess an expressive power through the artist's physical embodiment of the painting process."<br /><br />Lastly the conclusive paragraph isn't as conclusive as could ideally be....whilst you continue your summarisation of the exhibition we do not get a precise critical viewpoint of what you think or felt....<br /><br />Just a few minor adjustments otherwise a rather thorough observation of the exhibition.<br /><br />Well Done<br /><br />DJDJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11431774421171101270noreply@blogger.com