tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8466314672723988836.post407315183890465786..comments2023-09-30T00:43:13.890-07:00Comments on The Current Season: moderatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07653277482083573538noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8466314672723988836.post-77565885418132968292015-03-29T08:50:55.474-07:002015-03-29T08:50:55.474-07:00In your first sentence, you list the dates. Consid...In your first sentence, you list the dates. Consider using the word until, instead of “till.” A few sentences further, you discuss the “prompt present,” I am not sure you need the word prompt. You could just say, “The presentation takes a gander at the present….” The second sentence in your second paragraph is hard to understand and could use a bit more clarity.<br /><br />Your descriptions of towards the end of your review about Tania Perez Cordova’s work is great! Maybe you could add a sentence or two at the end to tie her work back into the overarching theme of the exhibition.<br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14953882805648303751noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8466314672723988836.post-28308635805807862832015-03-28T11:03:12.699-07:002015-03-28T11:03:12.699-07:00Desiree,
Your writing was far more descriptive an...Desiree,<br /><br />Your writing was far more descriptive and elaborate compared to your last one. It was pleasant to read. However, I do have to point out the fact that the first paragraph out of the two in total explains information that only needs to be briefly talked about. I think a sentence or two is enough for the description of the Triennal. Also, I have a feeling you were too focused on what the exhibition is than what you got out of it. Having more of your own voice might be a good idea. But overall, it is definitely an improvement. Good job!<br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12235614330332864382noreply@blogger.com