tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8466314672723988836.post4902781623667838947..comments2023-09-30T00:43:13.890-07:00Comments on The Current Season: Michelle Lopez: Vertical Neck (Revised)moderatorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07653277482083573538noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8466314672723988836.post-49075639462746183662011-11-08T15:17:43.407-08:002011-11-08T15:17:43.407-08:00Greetings Christina,
First of...Greetings Christina,<br /> First of...I think this was a tricky exhibition to comment on....but clearly you felt moved by it emotively as I was reading through it....The first paragraph is slight confusing as you seem to combine a visual term with an audible term...."minimal silence" doesn't quite clearly convey what it is you intend to describe and instead of the word "ease"...perhaps the word "embrace" would seem more appropriate.<br /><br />In the second paragraph...the first sentence reads incorrectly as the tense is not used right...perhaps a revision along the lines of..."The juxtaposition between the hard materials of the large- scaled wall sculptures and its perfectly smooth folds and creases creates a sense of delusion and artistic caprice."<br /><br />In the third paragraph you repeat the same disparaging error conjoining the visual with the audible...."The work is embedded with a minimalist tone" It isn't clear what you are trying to convey....perhaps make it clear whether the work resonates to you audibly or visually....there isn't anything wrong with a tiny amount of subjectivity.<br /><br />The fourth paragraph is spot on and astute especially where you comment on the tangibility of the white space in between the works and how they amazingly function as one with the actual pieces.<br /><br />Your last paragraph, though not a conclusion, works as it continues a formal analysis into some works thus coinciding well with the preceding paragraphs....<br /><br />Well tackled exhibition, and overall a good piece of writing...just a little precision required here and there....<br /><br />Pat on Back<br /><br />DJDJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11431774421171101270noreply@blogger.com